It is the mission of Massachusetts Alimony Reform
"To promote peace and the independence of the parties to divorce, we must amend the alimony law to clarify guidelines, protect the truly needy and eliminate lifelong marital welfare"
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
We need your horror stories
To anyone going to this blog, we are working to get media attention to the injustices many men and 2nd wives are recieving from the Mass Probate Courts. Please go to our web-site Massalimonyreform.org for more information.
My attorney caused my nightmare. She didnt request her income verifacaion from the ex's employer. Day of court she pulls out a paystub to give to my attorney,I looked at my attorney and said this isnt right she has direct deposit, and gets a different pay stub than this. Went before the Judge she looks at the ex-wifes paystub looks at mine and orders $150.00 a week to the ex. Found out after the divorce with alot of hard work that she cancelled the direct deposit to that account 2 weeks before court and opened a new account. Had partail deposits made into that one. Horror gets worse,hired a new attorney after finding out she was working another job plus went to school and paid ten thousand dollars to go to this school, got a better job and was living with my daughter who doesnt speak to me, and was only paying board. Requested all the info took pictures to prove there was only one electric meter on the house one gas meter on the house she was claiming that she was paying all the bills. With all the information that he had, he looked at me and said were ready to go to court and we're gonna get her by dicrediting her finacial disclouser, he could see she was lying, week before court he has a Heart Attack and dies. $150.00 a week doesnt sound alot to some people but to me it means struggling to make ends meet every week not buying any clothes unless it's necessary, never eat out and havent been on a vacation since the divorce 6 years now. Her the ex has a new car and goes on vacation every year and still lives with my daughter and pays her board. Cant afford to get another attorney the deposit I gave him for court is gone. Thats my horror story Bob
Your story is heart braking like so many others who have joined our group. Please contact us at www.massalimonyreform.org or call me at 508-335-0069 and I will update you on how you may be able to help us to help you. Our legislature will not hear a single voice, but they will hear the many, and I promise there will be change.
I hope to hear from you, and please join our group.
I am a second wife who was forced to reveal all my personal and private financial information to my husband’s first wife under the threat of contempt of court and jail. The result is that I pay alimony to someone I was never married to.
In 2005 I married a gentleman who had a judgment to pay his first wife $39,000 per year in alimony – at the time he and she separated, she was 39 years old, but did not work because of a physical injury.
Prior to our marriage, I had a Prenuptial Agreement executed that clearly states our financial information is separate both prior to, during and after the marriage.
In August of 2006, my husband lost his job and filed for a modification of alimony. During the financial disclosures, we learned his former wife was working fulltime and earning a salary in excess of $34,000 – and still collecting alimony.
The Probate court did not recognize my prenuptial agreement – stating that the prenup was between my husband and I, but my husband’s former wife was entitled to my financial information and income. I was told that if I did not provide my financial data, I could be held in contempt of court and arrested.
My income was combined with my husband’s income to determine how much alimony his former spouse would receive. The logic (or illogic) was that my husband’s lifestyle had improved because he married me, thus, his first wife’s lifestyle should be equal to ours. The former wife now enjoys an income of $60,000 a year in combined alimony and income.
I have never met, spoken with or had any contact with this woman, she is younger than I am and healthier than I am, but the State of Massachusetts forces me, a Second Wife, to pay her alimony.
I am a victim of the current alimony system. After the end of a 17-year bad marriage, I began a 21-year alimony sentence. Being self-employed the division of assets went like this: My ex-wife got all our savings, all our real-estate and most of my retirement plan. I got to keep my job (which they consider an asset, even though it cannot be sold).
With all my money taken from me, my business was unable to survive a downturn that was happening around the time of the divorce.
For the next two years I paid more in alimony than I earned. My first "complaint for modification" was rejected because it was too soon after the divorce. So I filed a second one.
In 2004 I stood before the Essex County Probate and Family Court, penniless. I had fallen behind on my alimony payments, which were more than I was earning, and was therefore found to be in contempt of court. The judge ordered me to 30 days in the county jail. They took my tie and belt. They put handcuffs on my wrists. They put shackles on my ankles and marched me out of the courthouse. Thank God for friends. My best friend’s father-in-law loaned me money so that I could pay the purge amount and get out of jail early and return to work.
Today, I have no money, no job and no car, no health insurance. I am currently under orders to pay $2000 per month in alimony plus $1700 per year in life insurance for a total of $25,000 per year. I owe $70,000 in alimony arrears plus $5,000 to my attorney plus I have to pay my ex-wife's attorney $5,000.
I am trying to sell my house, but I have mortgaged it 100%, and now that real estate prices have declined my house is worth less than the mortgage. I have over $160,000 in unsecured debt. I am seeking employement and have been trying not to file bankruptcy, at least until I can find a job because otherwise prospective employers will disqualify me when they do a credit check.
Despite all the hardships that the alimony system has created for my family, I have moved forward with my life as best I can. I have remarried and am now blessed to have a loving wife and a 2-year old daughter who brings us much joy. Every day I strive to be the best husband and father that I can be.
As bad as things have been for me, the current alimony system has been even more detrimental to my ex-wife. The current system encouraged her not to seek employment or job training, but rather to plan on a lifetime of dependence upon alimony and discouraged her from remarrying. She now has no job skills and no husband. Her house, her retirement funds and her savings are all gone. She is another victim of our alimony system.
This system kept my ex-wife I and I fighting continuously in court for 7 straight years. It has been amazingly destructive to me, my ex-wife, our children and many others.
This whole system makes no sense at all. If two people want to break up and go their separate ways, then that is what should happen.
I am a man who has been divorced since 2001. I have met the love of my life. We want to get married, she has 2 children from her former husband, he is paying child support only.
I am paying alimony and child support to an ex who chooses to work part time at less than half her normal pay and has been co-habitating with a man for over 8 years. Her potential income is $100,000/yr (Registered nurse, BSN, 25 years of experience).
Bottom line is we have decided that we can't get married until this is fixed. It is a very sad thing for us since we both strongly believe in the sacrament of marriage. I have written and called both of my state legislators and both of the chairs on the Judiciary committee. I urge everyone who reads this to do the same. Calling and writing your state politicians and telling them your stories and asking for their support on HR1567 is the only way this is going to move ahead. Ask everyone you know to do it with you. Unless the pressure is on this legislation will die come July when the 2008 election cycle starts and we will all have to wait another year to try again.
I was married to a woman in 1986 whom when I met her had two young children 6 month old son, 4 year old daughter and one failed marriage. I met her and fell in love with her and the idea of a family I was single and no kids 19 years old. When we talked of marriage I wanted to at least have one child of my own, so along came my son. We were as I thought a happily married couple with a wonderful family. In 2004 my wife basically abandoned the marriage in place and had an affair with another man she had met at work. Our bills were not getting paid and she spent $3,000.00 on a motorcycle for him because he couldn't get a drivers license in Massachusetts. When I found out she was seeing another man she said "I can see whomever I want it’s my right". I didn't totally disagree that it was her right however it was a limit in a marital relationship for me. She would leave my bed at odd hours of the night while I was sleeping and I would wake up alone. I ask her to make a choice come back to our marriage or I would have no choice but to end the marriage. I was in marriage counseling that she refused to attend. I then filed for divorce.
When our court date came up I had an attorney whom said you will pay little or no alimony because she had a previous marriage and two children when I met her and she had an affair with another man. When I arrived in court I gave her everything in the house except the kitchen table my clothes and tools I use at work and a car. She asked the judge for $1,000.00 a month for alimony. I then asked the court to consider the fact that she had an affair with another man the judge said that didn't matter and refuse to consider the affair. I asked the court to consider the fact that she had two children one from a previous marriage and one child from a boyfriend that the father was paying no child support (DEAD BEAT DAD) still not in jail go figure. Judge said it didn't matter. The judge then made us go into a conference room to determine the amount of alimony and my ex-wife stuck to $1,000.00 a month. I only make $54,000.00 per year in income she made $28,000.00 per year I couldn't accept this back into court we went. The judge then said $700.00 plus health insurance a month and turned to me and said this is the best you’re going to get Mr. Moore I'd advise you and your attorney to take this offer. I then asked the judge to put a time limit on the alimony she said " it is unconstitutional for me to set a time limit on the duration of alimony and it will be until she gets remarried or dies" she was 43 and I was 41 at the time if divorce. I was threatened so many times during this hearing if I didn't pay the alimony the judge would revoke my electrical license, drivers license, and jail me. I was also told don't try and get a job that pays less money or I will still consider the higher amount for alimony. I just wanted to get out of court with my freedom intact. Our marital home was for sale and my ex-wife did everything that she could to interrupt the sale by making rooms unavailable for buyers to view and yelling “get the fuck out of my house when a buyer was present”. I had a purchase and sale agreement with that buyer that subsequently canceled the agreement stating that they were rushed thru the walk thru by the seller. We would have made a profit on the house if that sale had gone thru of about $10,000.00. The house eventually sold $18,000.00 dollars short that I was responsible for and she said I cannot help pay that back. I eventually had to file bankruptcy.
The other problem with lifetime alimony is the liability of the ex-spouse becoming for what ever reason disabled or unemployed after the marriage has ended. While the recipient has absolutely no liability for the payors health, debt or life circumstances the payors has this liability forever. This hangs over my head every day. Massachusetts has become a Divorce no fault state, and has replaced State aid with the income of men and women through out the state as alimony. I thought there were equal protections under the law statutes why don’t they apply in Divorce? I have now had my future stolen from me legally; I will never be a home owner again unless my ex-wife decides to free me of this unjust debt. My ex-wife still has control of my future.
I was not advised by my attorney that you only have 30 days to appeal this decision or I would have appealed. This should be changed because when a man or woman files for divorce you need more time to heal before mounting an appeal. I was at the lowest point emotionally in my life at this point and wanted to move on with what was left of my life.
I was remarried in 2008 and she is taking me back to court because she said good now you make more money with your wife’s income you can pay more alimony and I need to stay on your health insurance. This process has left me very angry with the probate court system it is broken and needs to be fixed.
Time is not on my side at this point I have lost over $30,000.00 of my personal income to date. If I don’t purchase a home soon I will not be able to pay off a mortgage before retirement I cannot take a mortgage into retirement this would be shameful on the part of The State of Massachusetts to affect my life so dramatically when every one I’ve talk to about this says its unfair. My ex-wife now states this was the biggest mistake of her life why am I the only one still paying for it?
State: Massachusetts County: Hampden County Probate Court Judge: Honorable Anne M. Geoffrion Date: August 24, 2004
I am a second wife and divorce attorney who would have never believed this could happen if I wasn't living it! My husband filed for modification of his child support and alimony to accurately reflect his ability to pay last September. The case went to trial and the judge ordered to him to pay 30% of our ENTIRE HOUSEHOLD income to his first wife, not 30% of only his. As a result of this disasterous decision we are on the brink of financial ruin while trying to raise a five year old child. My horror story continues in further detail if anyone needs or wants to hear it. I am just glad to know I (we) are not alone.
13 comments:
My attorney caused my nightmare. She didnt request her income verifacaion from the ex's employer. Day of court she pulls out a paystub to give to my attorney,I looked at my attorney and said this isnt right she has direct deposit, and gets a different pay stub than this.
Went before the Judge she looks at the ex-wifes paystub looks at mine and orders $150.00 a week to the ex. Found out after the divorce with alot of hard work that she cancelled the direct deposit to that account 2 weeks before court and opened a new account. Had partail deposits made into that one. Horror gets worse,hired a new attorney after finding out she was working another job plus went to school and paid ten thousand dollars to go to this school, got a better job and was living with my daughter who doesnt speak to me, and was only paying board. Requested all the info took pictures to prove there was only one electric meter on the house one gas meter on the house she was claiming that she was paying all the bills. With all the information that he had, he looked at me and said were ready to go to court and we're gonna get her by dicrediting her finacial disclouser, he could see she was lying, week before court he has a Heart Attack and dies. $150.00 a week doesnt sound alot to some people but to me it means struggling to make ends meet every week not buying any clothes unless it's necessary, never eat out and havent been on a vacation since the divorce 6 years now. Her the ex has a new car and goes on vacation every year and still lives with my daughter and pays her board.
Cant afford to get another attorney the deposit I gave him for court is gone.
Thats my horror story
Bob
Bob,
Your story is heart braking like so many others who have joined our group. Please contact us at www.massalimonyreform.org or call me at 508-335-0069 and I will update you on how you may be able to help us to help you. Our legislature will not hear a single voice, but they will hear the many, and I promise there will be change.
I hope to hear from you, and please join our group.
Steve H.
Don't give up Bob, join the group, it is terrific moral support and you should take your case back to court Pro Se.
I am a second wife who was forced to reveal all my personal and private financial information to my husband’s first wife under the threat of contempt of court and jail. The result is that I pay alimony to someone I was never married to.
In 2005 I married a gentleman who had a judgment to pay his first wife $39,000 per year in alimony – at the time he and she separated, she was 39 years old, but did not work because of a physical injury.
Prior to our marriage, I had a Prenuptial Agreement executed that clearly states our financial information is separate both prior to, during and after the marriage.
In August of 2006, my husband lost his job and filed for a modification of alimony. During the financial disclosures, we learned his former wife was working fulltime and earning a salary in excess of $34,000 – and still collecting alimony.
The Probate court did not recognize my prenuptial agreement – stating that the prenup was between my husband and I, but my husband’s former wife was entitled to my financial information and income. I was told that if I did not provide my financial data, I could be held in contempt of court and arrested.
My income was combined with my husband’s income to determine how much alimony his former spouse would receive. The logic (or illogic) was that my husband’s lifestyle had improved because he married me, thus, his first wife’s lifestyle should be equal to ours. The former wife now enjoys an income of $60,000 a year in combined alimony and income.
I have never met, spoken with or had any contact with this woman, she is younger than I am and healthier than I am, but the State of Massachusetts forces me, a Second Wife, to pay her alimony.
I am a victim of the current alimony system. After the end of a 17-year bad marriage, I began a 21-year alimony sentence. Being self-employed the division of assets went like this: My ex-wife got all our savings, all our real-estate and most of my retirement plan. I got to keep my job (which they consider an asset, even though it cannot be sold).
With all my money taken from me, my business was unable to survive a downturn that was happening around the time of the divorce.
For the next two years I paid more in alimony than I earned. My first "complaint for modification" was rejected because it was too soon after the divorce. So I filed a second one.
In 2004 I stood before the Essex County Probate and Family Court, penniless. I had fallen behind on my alimony payments, which were more than I was earning, and was therefore found to be in contempt of court. The judge ordered me to 30 days in the county jail. They took my tie and belt. They put handcuffs on my wrists. They put shackles on my ankles and marched me out of the courthouse. Thank God for friends. My best friend’s father-in-law loaned me money so that I could pay the purge amount and get out of jail early and return to work.
Today, I have no money, no job and no car, no health insurance. I am currently under orders to pay $2000 per month in alimony plus $1700 per year in life insurance for a total of $25,000 per year. I owe $70,000 in alimony arrears plus $5,000 to my attorney plus I have to pay my ex-wife's attorney $5,000.
I am trying to sell my house, but I have mortgaged it 100%, and now that real estate prices have declined my house is worth less than the mortgage. I have over $160,000 in unsecured debt. I am seeking employement and have been trying not to file bankruptcy, at least until I can find a job because otherwise prospective employers will disqualify me when they do a credit check.
Despite all the hardships that the alimony system has created for my family, I have moved forward with my life as best I can. I have remarried and am now blessed to have a loving wife and a 2-year old daughter who brings us much joy. Every day I strive to be the best husband and father that I can be.
As bad as things have been for me, the current alimony system has been even more detrimental to my ex-wife. The current system encouraged her not to seek employment or job training, but rather to plan on a lifetime of dependence upon alimony and discouraged her from remarrying. She now has no job skills and no husband. Her house, her retirement funds and her savings are all gone. She is another victim of our alimony system.
This system kept my ex-wife I and I fighting continuously in court for 7 straight years. It has been amazingly destructive to me, my ex-wife, our children and many others.
This whole system makes no sense at all. If two people want to break up and go their separate ways, then that is what should happen.
I am a man who has been divorced since 2001. I have met the love of my life. We want to get married, she has 2 children from her former husband, he is paying child support only.
I am paying alimony and child support to an ex who chooses to work part time at less than half her normal pay and has been co-habitating with a man for over 8 years. Her potential income is $100,000/yr (Registered nurse, BSN, 25 years of experience).
Bottom line is we have decided that we can't get married until this is fixed. It is a very sad thing for us since we both strongly believe in the sacrament of marriage. I have written and called both of my state legislators and both of the chairs on the Judiciary committee. I urge everyone who reads this to do the same. Calling and writing your state politicians and telling them your stories and asking for their support on HR1567 is the only way this is going to move ahead. Ask everyone you know to do it with you. Unless the pressure is on this legislation will die come July when the 2008 election cycle starts and we will all have to wait another year to try again.
DO IT TODAY!
Updated:
I was married to a woman in 1986 whom when I met her had two young children 6 month old son, 4 year old daughter and one failed marriage. I met her and fell in love with her and the idea of a family I was single and no kids 19 years old. When we talked of marriage I wanted to at least have one child of my own, so along came my son. We were as I thought a happily married couple with a wonderful family. In 2004 my wife basically abandoned the marriage in place and had an affair with another man she had met at work. Our bills were not getting paid and she spent $3,000.00 on a motorcycle for him because he couldn't get a drivers license in Massachusetts. When I found out she was seeing another man she said "I can see whomever I want it’s my right". I didn't totally disagree that it was her right however it was a limit in a marital relationship for me. She would leave my bed at odd hours of the night while I was sleeping and I would wake up alone. I ask her to make a choice come back to our marriage or I would have no choice but to end the marriage. I was in marriage counseling that she refused to attend. I then filed for divorce.
When our court date came up I had an attorney whom said you will pay little or no alimony because she had a previous marriage and two children when I met her and she had an affair with another man. When I arrived in court I gave her everything in the house except the kitchen table my clothes and tools I use at work and a car. She asked the judge for $1,000.00 a month for alimony. I then asked the court to consider the fact that she had an affair with another man the judge said that didn't matter and refuse to consider the affair. I asked the court to consider the fact that she had two children one from a previous marriage and one child from a boyfriend that the father was paying no child support (DEAD BEAT DAD) still not in jail go figure. Judge said it didn't matter. The judge then made us go into a conference room to determine the amount of alimony and my ex-wife stuck to $1,000.00 a month. I only make $54,000.00 per year in income she made $28,000.00 per year I couldn't accept this back into court we went. The judge then said $700.00 plus health insurance a month and turned to me and said this is the best you’re going to get Mr. Moore I'd advise you and your attorney to take this offer. I then asked the judge to put a time limit on the alimony she said " it is unconstitutional for me to set a time limit on the duration of alimony and it will be until she gets remarried or dies" she was 43 and I was 41 at the time if divorce. I was threatened so many times during this hearing if I didn't pay the alimony the judge would revoke my electrical license, drivers license, and jail me. I was also told don't try and get a job that pays less money or I will still consider the higher amount for alimony. I just wanted to get out of court with my freedom intact. Our marital home was for sale and my ex-wife did everything that she could to interrupt the sale by making rooms unavailable for buyers to view and yelling “get the fuck out of my house when a buyer was present”. I had a purchase and sale agreement with that buyer that subsequently canceled the agreement stating that they were rushed thru the walk thru by the seller. We would have made a profit on the house if that sale had gone thru of about $10,000.00. The house eventually sold $18,000.00 dollars short that I was responsible for and she said I cannot help pay that back. I eventually had to file bankruptcy.
The other problem with lifetime alimony is the liability of the ex-spouse becoming for what ever reason disabled or unemployed after the marriage has ended. While the recipient has absolutely no liability for the payors health, debt or life circumstances the payors has this liability forever. This hangs over my head every day. Massachusetts has become a Divorce no fault state, and has replaced State aid with the income of men and women through out the state as alimony. I thought there were equal protections under the law statutes why don’t they apply in Divorce? I have now had my future stolen from me legally; I will never be a home owner again unless my ex-wife decides to free me of this unjust debt. My ex-wife still has control of my future.
I was not advised by my attorney that you only have 30 days to appeal this decision or I would have appealed. This should be changed because when a man or woman files for divorce you need more time to heal before mounting an appeal. I was at the lowest point emotionally in my life at this point and wanted to move on with what was left of my life.
I was remarried in 2008 and she is taking me back to court because she said good now you make more money with your wife’s income you can pay more alimony and I need to stay on your health insurance. This process has left me very angry with the probate court system it is broken and needs to be fixed.
Time is not on my side at this point I have lost over $30,000.00 of my personal income to date. If I don’t purchase a home soon I will not be able to pay off a mortgage before retirement I cannot take a mortgage into retirement this would be shameful on the part of The State of Massachusetts to affect my life so dramatically when every one I’ve talk to about this says its unfair. My ex-wife now states this was the biggest mistake of her life why am I the only one still paying for it?
State: Massachusetts
County: Hampden County Probate Court
Judge: Honorable Anne M. Geoffrion
Date: August 24, 2004
I am a second wife and divorce attorney who would have never believed this could happen if I wasn't living it! My husband filed for modification of his child support and alimony to accurately reflect his ability to pay last September. The case went to trial and the judge ordered to him to pay 30% of our ENTIRE HOUSEHOLD income to his first wife, not 30% of only his. As a result of this disasterous decision we are on the brink of financial ruin while trying to raise a five year old child. My horror story continues in further detail if anyone needs or wants to hear it. I am just glad to know I (we) are not alone.
Post a Comment